The Blame Game

Have you ever had one of those days that seem to stick with you for years and years, despite the seeming inconsequence of it? I have one of those days in my memory bank, and it has occasionally been known to resurface. I’ve conjured it up myself at times to remind me not only of how much I have been blessed, but how hard it is to appreciate what you have when you’ve neglected to be thankful for it.

I was walking into the plant in which I used to work many years ago. It was early in the morning and I had arrived for work wondering how I had gotten there. Not to work, mind you, but in the situation and place in life that I found myself in at that particular moment. I walked down the corridor to the clock that I used to punch my time-card, and suddenly I became very depressed, and the day had barely begun. Was this all that life had to offer me? Is this what I had expected to become when I was young and full of hopes and dreams? It was definitely not an ‘It is well with my soul’ moment.

As the morning rolled on I did what is natural to do when you find yourself in that particular mindset – I started a mental list of all the people and situations I could blame for being in my supposed predicament. The shackles and chains of what ifs and if onlys were all too happy to oblige me, and I sank deeper and deeper into a funk that choked away any chance I had of being in a good mood for the remainder of the day.

The blame game, we call it, or sailing the wide-open seas of victimhood. My parents did not support me enough when I was growing up. My ex-wife ruined my whole life despite the short time we were together. My boss did not appreciate my talents. I would have graduated from college, but my professors had it out for me from the very start. The list went on and on and I found it easier and easier to add names, places, and events to it. Instead of enjoying another day of living that God had given me, I became bitter and despondent.

It is the oldest game in the book and has been around since not very long after man was first created. In Genesis, check out what Adam had to say when he got caught doing wrong and his world began to crumble, “The woman whom thou gavest to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I did eat.” It didn’t stop there, listen to Eve’s take on the situation, “The serpent beguiled me, and I did eat.” The cause for wrongdoing was sent right down the line and none of the parties wanted to accept the blame that lay squarely on their own shoulders. It is much easier to blame others when we fall or fail. It feels better, but it does not change the facts of the matter.

The charade continues today in every facet of our society. What appears to be missing is that we no longer want to be accountable or take responsibilities for our actions. When we were kids playing softball and we would pop-out; we would call for a ‘do-over’. In golf if we make a bad tee-shot, it is a ‘mulligan’ that we lobby for. But those things should not be expected in our day-to-day lives. Once we learn to live with the consequences of our bad choices, then we have a shot at reaching the elusive goal of maturity. Hopefully a lesson is learned and experience gained that will enable us to do a better job when the next opportunity presents itself.

Although I remember the day clearly, I cannot recall what brought about an end to the funk that I fell into that morning. But it passed. There were more opportunities waiting for me down the road and once I learned to recognize them, I took a chance and pursued a different path. Sometimes the choices were hard and sometimes I made the wrong move and found myself having to back-track. But I kept going. Things are still not perfect for me today and I still have my ups and downs. But I keep going. Life is funny like that.

Each day of our lives should begin filled with glorious hope for an opportunity to try something new. We should always look towards the future and cease to dwell on negative things in our past. And we should learn to shoulder the blame when we make a mistake and simply move on to a new opportunity that can often be found lurking right around the next corner.