Another gym story, if you will. I’ve decided I can do that on Fridays. It’s the end of the week and as always, each weekend arrives with the unlimited possibilities of better things to come. Today, in a paraphrase of Steve Winwood: “If you’ll hold onto me, I will let you into my dreams”.
Normally, my partner and I lift weights for a little while, and then it’s treadmill time. This is our routine and I look forward to an encounter with the rolling belt each day in a manner much akin to hanging out with an old friend. Today I was walking while Peter Frampton streamed through my iPod, reminding me that he still needed someone to show him the way. (Any time I can get Steve Winwood and Peter Frampton into my blog, it is a good day, you know?) As I strolled along the mystical pathway, recollecting my own time back in the 1970’s, into the gym walked Barbie and Ken. Young and vibrant in a manner that makes us older folks wonder why a couple in their physical shape would even bother to waste their time exercising, they mounted the treadmills on either side of me and in minutes they both began to run at a torrid pace.
Feeling an unstated disdain emanating from the two of them, I began to run as well. Let’s just say it was contagious, because to admit I suddenly felt old will not do my reasoning any justice in this matter. To my surprise, it felt good! I ran in a way I had been unable to in years, my feet providing a steady flop flop as the mileage counter on the display began to climb. I was younger, happier, and caught a glimpse of a more carefree time in my life while doing so.
For a few minutes.
I lowered my speed to a comfortable jog, and although the obviously-computer-generated couple far outpaced me it was still a good clip. The rate on the distance meter dropped off, assuredly, but I still felt pretty good about what I was doing and my performance to that point. The mere thought of me at first running, and now jogging of all things - at my age? Who knew?
For a few minutes.
My ankles began reminding me that despite my sudden foray into the world of youthful galloping, they were not convivial about it. A fallen arch on one of my converse-clad feet seconded the motion. And according to the instrumentation, my heart rate was almost ready to register on a Richter scale in Honolulu. I backed off my pace, and sheepishly returned to a brisk walk. Though I could not compete with the younger couple’s pace, in the end they finished and were off to wherever it is that young people go long before I completed my routine. And I was none the worse for wear and had burned an adequate amount of calories in the process.
Isaiah writes: “Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall: But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.” I absolutely love these verses from the Bible. They mean more to me with each passing year of my life, because I have developed a deeper understanding for the unfathomable depths of what it means to ‘wait on the Lord’ as the years have steadily passed for me.
As a Christian, it is my duty and responsibility to ‘wait on the Lord’ despite my own intuitions and the desires I have hidden deep in my heart. Any decision I am called upon to make in my life, whether work related, personal, or even (gasp!) financial, should be submitted to G_d through prayer beforehand. He deals with the big decisions, but He is also the master of the small ones. I understand this concept very well at this point in my life when maybe it was not as obvious to me in my younger days.
Sometimes as I wait, I can see Him at work in my life. His Spirit fills me with hope and confidence, and I know what He has planned for me. During those times, the way He works things out is miraculous, and I find myself unable to do anything at all except humbly offer my unworthy praise to Him. Furthermore, I am left with a sense of how full my cup is and I cannot wait to share the story of how He has blessed me with others. In a very literal way, I am soaring like an eagle; in a spiritual realm where everything makes perfect sense and my path is open and laid out before me. Those times are the best.
At other times I can only get a glimpse of these things. He is working in my life; the bills are getting paid, the kids are happy, and my earthly problems are all being worked out. I am comfortable in my position in life, and though nothing appears to be as miraculous as the situations I discussed earlier, I am happy and know I have been blessed. I continue to wait on Him and in a very real sense I am not weary with the things in life that beset me. He is taking care of me. Things are good, and I keep running.
But sometimes I cannot feel His Spirit at all. The deck seems to be stacked against me. Life is hard. I know G_d is there and I know He has a plan for me, but I just can’t see it. I am left unable to ascertain what awaits on the dark road ahead of me, but I understand it will all work out somehow - if only in His time instead of mine. It is during those troubled times, which are substantial in my life, that I have learned even more so to simply wait on Him. I learn to be patient during those times, and I learn not to give up. More importantly, I do not faint as I continue to walk.
You see, in my spiritual journey, I’ve learned it’s not how fast I get there that matters in the end. It’s simply waiting on Him that makes it all work out for the best. No matter how old I get.
No comments:
Post a Comment