It’s funny how you look back at certain events in your life with fond memories of those moments, although at the time they may have been filled with no small amount of trepidation. Usually those moments were quite possibly not as great as you remember them to be. I was thinking about something funny that happened to me during boot camp this morning, for no apparent reason. It’s just something that men do and whether they share those memories with you or not can also be just as random. You are lucky to have me, dear reader, because I am a man who does not mind a good share every now and then.
But the incident triggered from my memory bank is not nearly as important as the lesson I learned from it today; and that is the angle I choose to delve into this afternoon. If you are a veteran of military service, regardless of branch, you will always remember boot camp. I attended an old school boot camp back in an era when there were very few regulations against what a drill instructor could or could not do to you to establish a point he felt obliged to make. Those were rough days indeed, and they were made worse by a cruel twist of fate that had me attend basic training during the sweltering months of July and August. It was an ordeal that I am glad I went through, though I'll confess it had its moments of comedy and created many friendships that were born out of necessity. Would I want to do it again? No way. It was also brutal. It bordered on being inhumane. Ask anyone that was a proud member of our squad, KILO 121, and I’ll bet the farm you would get the same response.
What I learned from today’s seemingly inconsequential trip down memory lane is why my memories of that time, despite all the bad things I could write about it, are still special to me even today. The cork-screw pressure of those ten long weeks, the physical as well as the mental, placed a huge amount of stress upon me. But it caused me to blossom at the same time. There are very few moments in life I can recall where I felt so… alive. Maybe it was not all about survival, in actuality it wasn’t, but you could not convince me of that idea at the time. The fear of failure, the assorted body aches and pains, the mental ups and downs kept me on edge on an hourly basis. We’d usually catch a break on Sunday mornings, when we were allowed to go to chapel services, yet those short hours were only fleeting intermissions wedged into the middle of a script from Dante’s Inferno. By no small miracle I survived and by the end of it, on the day of graduation, I felt fulfilled and very proud of myself.
In my description of life, the polar opposite of happiness is not found in the state of being unhappy. I believe the true contradiction to happiness in life can be discovered when one is found in a state of being merely apathetic about life in general. When life throws me curve balls and I find myself scrambling to beat long odds arrayed against me; that is when I am truly forced to live in the moment. I think it would be down-right dangerous for me to wake up one day and find that I have met all of my goals in life and have nothing further to look forward to. At that point, I would have nothing left to define me and it would be easy to get lost in a shuffle hand-delivered to me by the years that followed.
The sad fact is that soon enough this will happen. I will make enough money and retire. The house will be paid for, the kids will be grown, and life will change for me. At that point, I will search for new goals to pursue, yet I’ve also learned that sometimes goals are harder still to project. What will I do in that case? What will continue to motivate me and give my life meaning when my career is over and I’ve taken that last ride home from work? What can I use to drive me during my golden years as my time on earth begins to wind down? When the day arrives to find Kim and I sitting in a rocker out on the porch… what then?
The things in this life are all ephemeral in nature. The cars, boats, and houses do not last as long as they should these days. Money will never buy happiness, but it can purchase emptiness. Children grow up and start families of their own. Friends grow apart and move away to new cities. Knowing these things, the unpredictability of wealth, friends, and even family; where can I find meaning both now and in the future? Is there a cure for apathy?
True meaning can only be found in one manner. Jesus said, “And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment.” It is for this purpose I was created and this should always be my utmost goal in life. After all, He qualified the commandment by stating that it was the ‘first’, or most important commandment. This goal may never entirely be met while I inhabit this mortal body, but it serves as the benchmark to continue to work toward, no matter what else happens in my life. By living this life in the present as well as in the future with a sincere manner of striving to achieve this goal, I will be guaranteed to find happiness despite any circumstance. Furthermore, and in a very real sense of the phrase, this verse of scripture quoted directly from the Son of G_d is the actual meaning of life.
No matter where I find myself and despite the things tomorrow may hold for me, I will always have this guideline: to love G_d with everything that I am and to strive toward that as the ultimate goal. Besides, an honest pursuit of this goal will very well change not only this life, but eternity for me in the end.
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