Ashamed

There is a day in my life that I will never forget due to what I didn’t do at the time. We were in the bleachers of the high-school football stadium, a bunch of guys, hanging out and waiting for our physical-education teacher to arrive. I do not remember how the conversation started nor do I recall the reasoning behind it, but the question came up as to who was the biggest Christian present in our class that morning. Several names were mentioned, but then someone pointed a finger at me and announced loudly to those present that I was truly the best example of a Christian among them.

Was it the proudest moment in my spiritual life? No.

Because I didn’t want to be considered ‘un-cool’ or a ‘nerd’, I immediately began vehemently denying it. Very loudly, in fact. The things I said that morning in an effort to prove I was not a Christian hurt me to even think about today. Although it happened many years ago, it haunts me, because I know I can never go back and make it right. Like Peter before me, I was forgiven for my denial. Yet I live with the guilt from that day so very long ago still buried deep within my heart.

One of the hardest dilemmas I’ve faced in my spiritual life is a problem I have in literally being hesitant about sharing my salvation with others. Part of it stems from the manner in which Christians are depicted in today’s society, and a lot of that is our own fault. When a well-known Christian falls, the news media can’t wait to report it along with all of the sordid details. The world we live in is quick to use stories of such incidents to ‘lump us all’ into the same category. To the world, it was just another religious hypocrite that was finally exposed for what we all are in their eyes – misguided charlatans of a faith that died a long time ago.

Another reason that I have a problem in this area is the fact that I am painfully shy, as I have mentioned earlier. My own meekness coupled with the fear of being pigeon-holed by others has resulted in many lost opportunities to express or share my faith. It is a sad state to find yourself in once you realize you are there. The guilt I feel because I know I could be sentencing my friends, and even family in some cases, to an eternity in hell is just one part of the problem. There is also a hidden guilt in knowing that I’ve let God down when I live my life in this manner.

Jesus said, “Whosoever therefore shall be ashamed of me and of my words in this adulterous and sinful generation; of him also shall the Son of man be ashamed, when he cometh in the glory of his Father with the holy angels.” Mark 8:38. Jesus repeats the same verse almost verbatim in Luke 9:26. These verses present a sobering thought to all Christians today, for we are certainly living in an ‘adulterous and sinful’ generation. I used the word ‘hesitant’ to describe my own shortcomings, but notice He used the word ‘ashamed’. Ashamed much better fits the situation, if you are asking me.

Being ashamed of the gospel and my status as a Christian is just another ploy that Satan uses to bring me under temptation and cause me to stumble in my faith. It is easy to be a Christian while in church on Sunday mornings, but the crux of the matter is how I live my life during the rest of the week. I still live in the world and as such I am surrounded by the people, and the things, of the world. Taking a stand for God may very well result in persecution, and looking at the way the world appears to be heading these days that persecution will apparently become worse and much more brutal.

I can no longer be ashamed of Jesus. He’s done so much for me in my life that I can give no legitimate explanations for taking Him for granted. Besides, after studying the verses I mentioned above – I understand the stakes are much too high. I do not want Him to be ashamed of me when He comes in the Glory of His Father.

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