Who Wants To Marry A Billionaire

Young Adult Sunday School Lesson – August 18, 2012

“And the king loved Esther above all the women, and she obtained grace and favour in his sight more than all the virgins; so that he set the royal crown upon her head, and made her queen instead of Vashti.” Esther 2:17

Intro: Theme music plays in the background as the camera pans across an immaculate throne room. The King sits on his royal throne, dressed in splendor with his crown and flowing robes, a golden sceptor in his hand.

Host: This is your E-Persia host Jeff Scoop, and we’re here today with King Ahasuerus, the star of Persian-TV’s new hit series, Who wants to Marry a Billionaire. How are you today, King?”

King: Ah, just call me King Xerxes, it’s much easier to pronounce, sort of. I’m doing great. Life is good. No complaints.

Host: Let’s see, it’s been four, almost five years since you and Queen Vashti parted ways; what have you been doing in the interim—besides this TV show?

King: Well, you know Jeff, I’ve conquered part of Greece. At least Athens. But then there was that little episode with King Leonidas which kind of put a damper on things. But I figured out that if you pit Athens against Sparta, and Sparta against Corinth, well, things kinda take care of themselves. (Smiles mischievously) We now have ‘peace in our time’ in the Kingdom, as those silly Greeks are now fighting amongst themselves. Ha!

Host: Hmm. Class warfare. Great plan, King. Future Kings will probably try and copy that.

King: I know, right? It works, (Spreads arms and smiles) what can I say?

Host: So tell us about your new TV show. How did that all come about?

King: Jeff, when I got home from Greece and after I put down a political coup that was being attempted against me, things got a little too quiet around the palace. Ok, ok, maybe I was missing Vashti a little bit. (Looks down) I was missing her a lot. I mean, man, she was a trophy wife, you know? And other than that one little incident when I was drunk and acting… foolish, well, she was a pretty good wife. (Looks reflectively off past the camera and slouches in a despondent manner)

Host: She was a beautiful woman.

King: I know, right? Well anyway, so I called on my lawyers again to see what they could do. I mean, after all, this was all of their doing, although I will admit—though I wasn’t wrong—it sounded like the thing to do at the time. It was under their advice that I dumped Vashti, and though I am the King and can pretty much do what I want, there is this silly little matter of the law that can’t be changed that I have to deal with. (Straightens up in his seat)

Host: So you trusted the lawyers again to come up with a solution for filling the Queen’s position in the palace?

King: Jeff, they are my brain trust, after all, I gotta trust them. But it reminds me of a joke: What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Host: I don’t’ know, what?

King: Not enough sand. (Slaps his leg and laughs loudly)

Host: (Laughing along) Now that is funny!

King: I know, right? So anyway, where was I, (Puts finger under chin as if thinking hard) oh yeah. We decided to do this reality series, you know—since that is all the rage these days—get all of the fair maidens from across my great empire together in the palace, and let me pick one of them to be my wife and thus, (twirls finger) the new Queen.

Host: Was it any special type of woman you were looking for in particular?

King: Jeff, I set the requirements that they had to be pretty, of course. And then again, they had to be virgins. And once they were chosen by a panel of my most trusted people, well, they were brought to the palace to stay in special apartments I had built for them. We set them aside for a whole year so that they could be cleansed, so to speak, and taught how to act like a queen and so forth. Basically, they had a year to get ready and muster the most beauty they could squeeze out of themselves. (Squeezes his scepter as if to demonstrate)

Host: So what happened, after a year?

King: All of the girls were brought to the throne room one at a time, and they each got to spend an entire evening with me. My job was to pick the one that not only made me happy, but also would be fit to be the Queen of the Empire. Not an easy task, because as the theme of the show suggests, some of them were probably only interested in the title and my money. Probably most of them, I guess. (Face darkens in disdain) But I figured out a way to handle that one, too.

Host: What did you do?

King: (Smirks) The ones I didn’t choose, because you could usually tell where their hearts were only a few minutes into the evening, I returned them to their apartments. And since it would be wrong for them to spend the evening with me and then go on about their lives as if nothing happened, well, they now have to stay and live in those apartments by themselves for rest of their lives. They can never marry, and they still have to put up with me anytime I choose to drop by—if I actually choose to do so.

Host: Wow! It sure sounds like a ‘win it all or lose it all’ proposition. Tough contest, King.

King: I know, right? Heh-heh. But I gotta give credit where credit is due; it’s only what the lawyers came up with. (Frowns, playing to the camera)

Host: Hmm. So tell me about the girl you chose. Her name is Hadassah, right?

King: (Smiles radiantly) Yeah-buddy, but I call her Esther. Sweet girl. Simply beautiful inside and out. Everything I could ever want and even more in a wife or a queen. She has something about her that I didn’t see in any of the others.

Host: And what was that?

King: Jeff, don’t get me wrong here. When Miss Persepolis came in I was struck by her beauty, and Miss Egypt had the total package as well. And there were others, too. But this girl, who actually came from Shushan—I have a palace there you know—well, she just caught my eye. When she came in the room my heart started pounding and it was like bow-chicka-wow-wow! And then when I started talking to her, it was like it was meant to be. I was floored! Dude, it was perfect; like there was some other force present at work there that I can’t even explain.

Host: Like maybe the gods had a hand in you guys meeting?

King: I know, right? It was something else. And even old Hegai, who was in charge of all of these women as far as getting them ready to meet me, he told me after the show was over that she had been his choice for me from the very beginning.

Host: That’s a great story. So where do you guys go from here?

King: Jeff, I’m just living the dream, getting to know her as she gets to know me. We are happy together and look forward to what the future has in store for us. I’m VERY happy. Things are good both in the Kingdom and in my personal life.

Host: One more question; any thoughts still linger in your heart about Vashti?

King: Who? (Looks puzzled, then smiles knowingly)

Host: Well there you have it, folks. A love story between a powerful king and a completely unknown, small-town girl. A Cinderella story without all of that glass-slipper-muckity-muck stuff thrown in. Congratulations, King, and good luck in all of your future endeavors with Queen Esther.

King: Thanks. Jeff. (Gives a fist-bump to Jeff and then gives a thumbs-up to the camera)