Writer's Block

“And Jesus said unto them, Because of your unbelief: for verily I say unto you, If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you. Howbeit this kind goeth not out but by prayer and fasting.” Matthew 17:20-21

My absence from this blog over the past few weeks has been the result of a losing record in the Spiritual war I am destined by my faith to constantly fight. If you are wondering, no, I still have a gazillion stories from the past and vats of inspiration for others, but nothing comes to mind when I sit down to write. You see, it’s not the stories themselves; it’s the Spiritual tie-in for those tales I’ve had problems defining during what has been for me a very stoic time.

I’m pitted against some pretty powerful foes as the battle unfolds each day. (Yes, each day!)

There is this big dude, rough-looking and mean, and I don’t know his name because he won’t tell me. Why should he? I simply call him ‘discouragement’ because that is his nature. When I sit down to write, he reminds me that what I am doing is of no use to anyone but me. He uses phrases like ‘nobody cares what you think’ and ‘what you write inspires no one anyway’. He check-mates me with ‘go watch TV and forget about this pointless blog. After all—it IS purely random thoughts—and by your own definition!’

A demon… in McNeill? Who knew? I mean, surely they inhabit New York and most assuredly reside around 42nd street. I’m positive there are quite a few on Bourbon or Decatur in New Orleans as well. But McNeill? This is smack-dab in the middle of the Bible Belt for Pete’s sake!

That big dude I mentioned has an ugly little friend. I call him ‘despair’ because again, we seldom discuss names in this business. He reminds me of all the things that are wrong in the world. The earthquakes and tsunamis in Japan along with the radioactive meltdown, the mess over in Libya and the Middle East in general, and the impending fall of Western Civilization. (Yes, he calls it that) He tells me to work harder in the gym, store up dried and canned food, and hunker down with plenty of ammo—because all is lost and I can depend only upon myself first and foremost. It would be comical, but he has an innate ability in slanting my thoughts in the general direction of his point of view. He makes sense during those times—what’s the point if it’s all going to go bad for us anyway? But he’s still ugly.

Then, as if these two aren’t bad enough, on my left shoulder sits this girlfriend of theirs. I call her ‘lust’ because man, you should see her! Perfect in every way. Just the way they serve ‘em up on TV shows I know I shouldn’t be watching. You’ve seen her, I’ll bet, in a short skirt on Dancing with the Stars, walking through the jungle while wearing next to nothing on Survivor, maybe smiling suggestively on The Bachelor. She purrs in my ear, crooning that Spiritual things were good back in their time, but ‘this is the New Age, baby’. She makes getting with the modern, worldly program seem like the real deal to me as I gaze in envy at new cars, boats, and other castles made of sand. I can’t acquire those things by sitting behind a terminal and writing stories about what G_d has done for me. She whispers promises of how much more fun it would be to write about Charlie Sheen, Madonna, or even political rants because, she teases, ‘you know you’d be good at it.’

There are others, too, but these guys merely stand out to me this morning. They destroy my will and make me less than what I know I should be. They freeze my thoughts when they attack; making me use the delete key far too often as I type and retype empty words that never come.

So I upped the ante this week following a sermon last Sunday that touched my heart and quickened my Spirit. I went all-medieval on that trio and their ilk—I resorted to the nuclear option if you will.

I started a fast, backed up by faith, that has now stretched into its third day, and I’m setting aside three scheduled times a day to pray. I’m back to basics with a morning quiet time, immersing myself in His Word and praying for everybody I know as I they come to mind. (I’m probably praying for you, too, if you are reading this!)

The words came this morning, and lots more. So much and so many I can’t type fast enough. I should be writing three or four posts today in order to catch the blog up—but that’s not the way we do this. I’m humbled for what He has done for me. I’m happy for deliverance from my own personal ghastly trio, though I know they are anxiously waiting right outside my door. And I’m hoping that those of you who are facing your own demons can take heart in my own struggles, while finding your own deliverance at the same time.

Freedom is closer than you think!

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